I feel that I must be somewhat of an idiot. I have been dating here and there and it seems that I think none of them really have any good intentions. I have been talking to a person for a few weeks I guess. And I am getting the feeling that they really have no intention of meeting me. Just mess with me. Is it because I am a single mom and have nothing else to do? Possibly. Therefore They just talk to me.. tell me I am pretty ask me about my hobbies and such. Really I wish they would just say they are looking for a friend instead of someone to date.
At the moment I feel a bit irate. I sort of want to rip into this person and say " So did you enjoy the ride? Cause you need to get off now. I am not here for your enetertainment. You want to get to know me then you better start acting and asking the right questions. Like when do you want to meet me? or When can we get together?" Honestly I am thinking that maybe I should just sit this one out for awhile. But even then that makes me feel irate as well. I didn't put in all the time of sending emails and writing texts just to sit this part of my life out. I need this distraction I need this time to feel like I am connected to the rest of the world. While I do realize that I am "only a stay at home mom" I am still a person who needs to feel like I matter outside of this house.. A place where chicken nuggets and diapers are not a top priority.
But I am thinking that maybe to the small minded this might be too much for some to handle. While I do realize I am a bit intense, I think that I expect too much of people in return. Therefore I want to just punch the next person who wants to "chat" with me but not talk to me. Not to be arrogant. But I am awesome! A bit Loco possibly, but I am interesting. I have done many great and fun adventurous things in my life. There is more to me than just someones mom. I am young, attractive, intelligent, creative, and fun. Along with being beautiful and sexy. What more could you ask for. I am guessing the problem is that I want to much. My vulnerability, the fact that I have so many children at the ripe age of 32. that I don't have and ex for the kids to go to another house on the weekends. Personally I could see this as a good thing. With there being No ex there is no one to be jealous of. No one that I am "tied" to. But honestly why should I have to wait for you not to be busy. Was it not you who sent me the message?
It was you who started it, so it should be you who wants it. I am not asking for your mothers maiden name or copies of you bank statement. I am asking for an honest conversation on the phone or in person. Why should I have to ask you if I can call you. You should be calling me. You should be chasing me. You should be impatiently waiting to hear my voice on the phone. However I am learning the hard way. The very hard way that people don't feel and don't think like this anymore. And that my friend, is truly loco. This makes me want to shout from my driveway that I hate this way of thinking. Granted I understand how easy a text message is. Sometimes for me it's way easier to just send a text that to talk on the phone. Mostly because I have three small children running around yelling. So therefore it makes it impossible to hear.
So what is it that I hope to have gained from all of this. I guess not to be so trusting. Act like they do passive and untrustworthy? But then I wouldn't be true to who I am . So I guess I try to mesh the two. Be me and aloof. This seems like too much work. But maybe it's the only way to stay not so loco.
At the moment I feel a bit irate. I sort of want to rip into this person and say " So did you enjoy the ride? Cause you need to get off now. I am not here for your enetertainment. You want to get to know me then you better start acting and asking the right questions. Like when do you want to meet me? or When can we get together?" Honestly I am thinking that maybe I should just sit this one out for awhile. But even then that makes me feel irate as well. I didn't put in all the time of sending emails and writing texts just to sit this part of my life out. I need this distraction I need this time to feel like I am connected to the rest of the world. While I do realize that I am "only a stay at home mom" I am still a person who needs to feel like I matter outside of this house.. A place where chicken nuggets and diapers are not a top priority.
But I am thinking that maybe to the small minded this might be too much for some to handle. While I do realize I am a bit intense, I think that I expect too much of people in return. Therefore I want to just punch the next person who wants to "chat" with me but not talk to me. Not to be arrogant. But I am awesome! A bit Loco possibly, but I am interesting. I have done many great and fun adventurous things in my life. There is more to me than just someones mom. I am young, attractive, intelligent, creative, and fun. Along with being beautiful and sexy. What more could you ask for. I am guessing the problem is that I want to much. My vulnerability, the fact that I have so many children at the ripe age of 32. that I don't have and ex for the kids to go to another house on the weekends. Personally I could see this as a good thing. With there being No ex there is no one to be jealous of. No one that I am "tied" to. But honestly why should I have to wait for you not to be busy. Was it not you who sent me the message?
It was you who started it, so it should be you who wants it. I am not asking for your mothers maiden name or copies of you bank statement. I am asking for an honest conversation on the phone or in person. Why should I have to ask you if I can call you. You should be calling me. You should be chasing me. You should be impatiently waiting to hear my voice on the phone. However I am learning the hard way. The very hard way that people don't feel and don't think like this anymore. And that my friend, is truly loco. This makes me want to shout from my driveway that I hate this way of thinking. Granted I understand how easy a text message is. Sometimes for me it's way easier to just send a text that to talk on the phone. Mostly because I have three small children running around yelling. So therefore it makes it impossible to hear.
So what is it that I hope to have gained from all of this. I guess not to be so trusting. Act like they do passive and untrustworthy? But then I wouldn't be true to who I am . So I guess I try to mesh the two. Be me and aloof. This seems like too much work. But maybe it's the only way to stay not so loco.
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